The Question of TV

Ah, TV.  Let's face it. Every house in a America has one, in some form or another.  Most homes have at least two.  The question is, why?  I've heard  lots of explanations, such as educational value, catching up on the news in the morning, presidential speeches....but really when it comes down to it, the main reason we have TV in our homes is for entertainment.  And like all forms of entertainment, we have to pay attention to the quality and quantity we are putting into our minds and into the minds of our children.

The AAP (American Association of Pediatrics) recommends that children under 2 do not watch any TV at all.  Between ages 2 and 4, only 30 minutes a day. 

Kids are born with a certain amount of potential.  This comes from dear old mom and dad.  How much of that potential is reached is up to environment.  Between birth and five are the most important years of a child's brain development.  This is the time when their brains are making the most connections and have the highest capacity for learning. 99% of TV does very little to enhance brain development.  Read: when your child is sitting in front of a TV you are possibly limiting their potential.

Here are some guidelines I've found to help keep TV in its place:

*Limit TV watching to AAP recommendations.

*Watch DVDs or other shows (Netflix instant viewing, etc.), not TV.  It's less tempting to "just watch one more show" and your kids won't be exposed to commercials.

*Watch the shows with your kids (at least the first time).  If you don't like it, don't let your kids watch it.  Our personal favorites are Kipper, Maisy and Thomas the Tank Engine.  (For some reason, the Brits really seem to know how to make good kids' television).  They are slow, quiet, and have great moral messages that aren't cheesy.

*Don't allow adult shows to be on while your kids are around.  Even during daytime television, movie previews can show vivid sex scenes, gun fights, and demonic images from horror movies.  Images stick.  That's why visual media is so successful.  If it's on, it's going into your kid's head and it's staying there.

*Don't let your kids eat in front of the TV.  This leads to bad habits that are linked with obesity.

Have I let Maggie watch Cinderella at Mammaw's house?  Sure.  Do I thank God that I can let Maggie watch  her show at 5:00 a.m. while I'm still  foggily trying to make a cup of coffee?  Every day.  Do I let her watch a little more TV than normal on days when she or I are sick or because Jack is hunting down bugs to eat around the house?  Of course.  I just try not to make it a habit.


A note about movies:

I have A LOT of kids in my Pre-k and Kindergarten classes who have seen Spiderman, Transformers and Iron Man. I don't agree with this.  I think their parents are doing the best job they know how to do.  I just don't think they are thinking through the repercussions of letting their kids watch PG-13 rated movies.  (I think I'm speaking to the dads mostly here.)  Now, I haven't done any scientific study or have documentation to prove my findings.  But I am saying that those kids who consistently watched movies and shows that were too old for them, according to the rating systems, have been (generally) more aggressive, less respectful, and had an attitude of "I'm a bigger kid than you."  The point is, they don't understand what they are watching.  Most four and five year olds can't follow the complexities in the plot line of a movie like GI Joe.  But the message they get is that violence, sexy girls and cussing is "cool" and "grown up."  They notice that they are one of the only little kids in the theater.  Just because a child can't fully comprehend what they are seeing doesn't mean it won't affect them.

Check out www.pluggedin.com for good detailed reviews on movie content for the latest flick.

I'd like to say this:  I don't think that kids are exposed to more evil in the world than the last generation.  The world is just as evil as is was when Cain and Abel were in disposable fig leaf diapers.  I do think today's kids are exposed to too much, too soon, before they are developmentally mature enough to process and handle it.

Keep your kids kids.

A Lesson in Self Esteem

I have recently had a child in my class that spends at least ten times a day in front of the mirror redoing her hair. Fixing her headband, shifting her clothes, just paying more attention than normal to her appearance. This is unfortunately not a rare occurrence in preschoolers. I see more and more children saying things like "I can't get my shoes dirty outside, my mom will get mad." and "My hair is messy."

Children naturally become more aware of their appearance about the age of four. They start paying attention to who has the cool backpack, the pretty hair clips, and the newest toy. But how much of this is natural development and how much is taught by us, the parents? How often have we said things like "I just can't do anything with my hair today!" or "I have nothing to wear!" Kids hear these things and what they hear is "Outward appearance is very important."

Here are some practical ways to encourage a healthy identity:

Most importantly, teach them who they are in Christ. God loved them enough to come down in the form of a man and die for their sins. They need to understand they are sinful, but God loves them despite this, because of Christ. If they accept Christ as the Lord of their life, He will give them an identity that cannot be shaken, no matter what the world says about them.

Compliment them on their character, often and specifically.

"You were very brave when you went to the doctor."

"It was kind of you to help your friend up the stairs."

"You were very patient while waiting for me to put your brother's shoes on."

Assess how much importance you put on your own appearance. Do you always have to on makeup before leaving the house? Do you buy clothes every new season? Do you make sure your kids have matching hair bows, socks, and shoes for every outfit?

Tell them that you are proud of them. What can they do that is unique to them? Kids are much more confident if they feel they have a skill or talent that is "theirs." Maybe it's drawing, maybe it's music, maybe they are really good at building with legos! Compliment them on their skill and encourage them to develop it.

Teach them that healthy is the goal, not a specific clothing size. When they ask you why you work out, tell them you want to be healthier or to have more energy, not to look better or to loose that "baby fat."

How will our children learn to love the homeless, the poor, the different, in short, to love like Jesus, if they are worried about what they look like on the outside?

Psalm 118:8 "It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man."

Psalm 139:13-14 For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

1 Samuel 16:7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”